Financial process for couples finances12/1/2023 So I stopped going and I almost made it like a drinking game. But she was convincing me to do so as well. Now, it's not her fault because she was doing what she was supposed to do, spend her money on her love. And one day I realized I wanted to go on vacation, but I didn't have any money.Īnd then when and was like, 'Hey, girl, you want to go to brunch?' I thought to myself, that's where my money is going! And I realized brunch is not a love for me because I don't even remember what we ate last week. Yes, so friends of mine would go to brunch every Sunday and it was maybe, say, 30 to 50 bucks every time. You tell this great story in the book and it's about saying no to brunch with your girlfriends for a very specific reason. So you need to take care of your health and safety and loves that give you lasting joy, and less money toward likes and wants - not no money, but the more money you spend on likes and wants, the less money you have for needs and loves. So what I want people to do is to lean into the first half of the equation, your needs and your loves. Likes give you temporary joy, in under six months you might not remember. Loves will continue to give you joy six months to a year from now. Things you must have to maintain your health and safety. It's: Do I need it? Do I love it? Do I like it? Do I want it? We already know needs: food, shelter, clothing, water. Can you break down the different priorities people should be thinking about for us?Ībsolutely. I want to talk a little bit about mindful spending. Because it's hard to jump into the financial application if you're not able to advocate for yourself in small, little ways. So it's like, sending something back or maybe just asking for something additional like, 'Oh can I also get that,' because what you want to do is you want to practice advocating for yourself. You know, if you are not haggling financially, you might be someone that's uncomfortable with asking the waiter for extra cheese. So what I would tell you, is don't worry about the financial haggling for now. And then three, practicing in a safe environment. And so, bravo to you again, Andee for recognizing, 'OK, this is from Dad,' you know. You can't break something that you don't acknowledge and see: what is the habit that I'm seeing in myself? Then, two, exploring where it came from. So one of the things I illustrate in the book is one, acknowledging that you see that habit. And so now as an adult, I just have zero haggling ability and, you know, probably I'm worse off for it. That's a really valuable skill, but as a kid, I just remember feeling so embarrassed. You know, he asked for discounts wherever we went. I know in my own life, for example, I immediately thought about how my dad was always super, super frugal. I loved what you had to say about being aware of the influences in our life that might affect our habits and our financial voice. I want to talk a little bit about the emotions behind money. Life Kit How Filing Taxes Will Be Different Because Of The Coronavirus This interview has been condensed and edited for clarity. Read on for tips for accessing your emotions around money, and learning to strengthen your financial voice. We can all, says Aliche, get good with money - we just have to get good with our feelings, first. "For me, money is more mindset than dollars and coins, " she says. Her book dives deep into each of these topics, but Aliche says this process begins with understanding your own financial identity and the many feelings and environmental forces that shape it. It's based around ten pillars: budgeting, savings, debt, credit, learning to earn, investing, insurance, net worth, getting your financial team in place and estate planning. Her book is a super practical guide to getting your financial house in order to achieve what Aliche calls financial wholeness. Tiffany Aliche, better known as The Budgetnista, is a financial expert, educator, and author of the new book Get Good With Money (out March 30). For more, sign up for the newsletter and follow on Twitter. This story comes from Life Kit, NPR's family of podcasts to help make life better - covering everything from exercise to raising kids to making friends.
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